Recently, a few people have complimented me on different things. My new jacket, my sequined hat, my blue eyes, and my work ethic among other things have received compliments this week. I am not telling you this to brag. I am telling you this because these compliments brightened an otherwise tough week.
Obviously, compliments can be influential and important. A recent peer-reviewed study published in the June 2014 issue of the Journal of Biological Systems states that compliments affect how people perceive themselves. The study gave compliments to some people and no compliments to others, and the complimented people received higher self-perceived attractiveness scores on the test. Results demonstrated that they had a higher self esteem and brightened perspective. Therefore, a compliment may be viewed as valuable.
When it comes to giving compliments, being genuine is important. There are several ways to say things and several situations in which they can be said. In my opinion, a genuine compliment is a compliment that has no ulterior motives and is stated respectfully. It does not expect anything in return. It is not a catcall. It is polite. These characteristics should be obvious.
Not going overboard in giving compliments is important as well. Don’t necessarily compliment everyone you see. A recent video called “Drive by Compliments 2” by Blake Grigsby could be taken as going overboard. Grigsby rides around the streets of Chicago with a megaphone and shouts compliments to people. He compliments random people on their hair, sunglasses, shirts, pants, and other qualities. This is a little exorbitant. Giving a compliment to a few people a day is probably good, but it shouldn’t be something you have to work at. Furthermore, your compliments could mean less if you give them too frequently or to everyone openly like Grigsby does. Still, the people in the video are elated upon hearing a compliment and respond nicely.
I’ve observed several ways people receive compliments. I learned my lesson on how not to respond while in high school. A friend of mine complimented me, and I responded, “Oh, I don’t know about that.” Always the one to be blunt, she cussed and said, “Don’t be rude. Say thank you.Take the compliment.” Until then, I had never thought of a modest response as rude, but she was correct in saying that it rejected her compliment. In other words, her words were a gift and pushing them away returned them to her. Therefore that response is not the best way.
Other common ways to respond include silently smiling, complimenting the individual back, saying thank you and commenting on the compliment, or saying a simple thank you. In Grigsby’s video, a majority of people responded with a thank you and a smile. These responses seem most genuine compared to the others. Smiling alone could be seen as ignoring or rejecting the compliment similar to the modest response because you don’t say anything. Complimenting someone in return could be seen as a forced compliment, not intentional. Finally, saying thank you and commenting on the object of compliment such as a jacket may be seen as vain depending on the amount of words. For instance, it is a breeding ground for bragging too much if you are not careful. Therefore, a simple thank you is the most genuine response.
After reading about compliments, I hope you are encouraged to be genuine in giving and receiving them. If giving compliments is not something you normally do, try it. You have the opportunity to brighten someone’s day. Why not take it?